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 Roadkill Cookbook
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You know you're a Redneck Jedi when...
You use your light saber to open bottles of Bud and to pick your teeth. You have bantha horns on the front of your land speeder. There's a blaster rack in the back of your land speeder. You can't describe the taste of an Ewok without using the word "chicken." You can't find grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks. A peaceful meditation is one without gas. You can levitate yourself using a force from within... but not THAT force. You have an X-Wing up on blocks in your front yard. You lost a hand during a light saber fight because you stopped to spit. You think the worst part about spending time on Dagobah is the "dadgum skeeters." You use the force to get yourself another beer so you don't have to wait for a commercial. You use R2D2's self-defense electro-shock thingy to light your barbeque. The moonshine still you buil on Endor is hidden so well even the Ewoks can't find it You have a stuffed womp rat over your fireplace. Your father said to you, "Shoot, Son, c'mon over tuh the dark side, it'll be a hoot." Wookies are offended by your body odor.
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