ROADKILL CAFE MENU
You Kill It, _____________ We Grill It'
Meet Our Chef! ______________ Squash 'em Jack
-ENTREES- You'll Eat Like A Hog Late Night Delight
Center Line Bovine 4.95 When You Taste Served Fresh Each
The Chicken 3.95 OUR DOG Night After Dark
Flat Cat 2.95
Thumper-on-the-bumper 3.95
Slab of Lab 2.95 Rack of Raccoon 3.95
Taste of The Wild Side Pit Bull Pot Pie 1.95 Smear of Deer 4.95
"Still in The Hide" Cocker Cutlets 3.95 Awesome Possum 1.95
Shar-Pei Fillet 5.95 Cheap Sheep $ .43
Chunk of Skunk 1.95 Snippet of
Smidgen Pigeon 1.95 Whippet 4.50 GUESS
Road Toad 1.65 Collie Hit By That Mess!
Snake 'N' Bake A Trolley 3.95 A Daily Special Treat.
Snake 2.25 German Shepherd
Swirl Squirrel 1.55 Pie 3.95 If You Can Guess
Rigor Mortis Round of Hound 4.25 What It Is.....
Tortoise 6.75 ...You Eat It For,
FREE!
--------------------- Side Orders -------------------------
Bowl of Mole .38 Splat of Cat .45 Square of Hare .68
Link of Mink 1.07 Spoon of Coon .32 Gizzard of Lizard .98
Platter of Bladder .48 Squish of Fish .13 Pinch of Finch 1.37
Broth of Moth .17 Fork of Stork .21 Hurled of Squirrel .96
Chin of Hen .13
Side orders by Squash 'em Dan
--------------------- Some State Menu Items ------------------
Illinois Texas
Pavement Possum 9.95 2 - Step Terrier 8.50
Served on a bun, this Step 1, We hit, Step 2, You eat it.
beast is awesome.
Missouri New Mexico
"Show Me" Shitzu 7.75 Chihuahua Chili 7.95
A hairy little treat with A Southwest delight that shivers
fuzzy little feet. when it bites.
Kansas Arizona
Curbside Kitty 10.50 "Grand Canyon" Cougar 10.50
A little bitty, bite size A big mountain cat, that you'll
kitty. eat till you're fat.
Oklahoma California
Airbrake Owl 7.75 Cream - O - Kitty 9.95
------------- From The Bar, Your Drink is our Delight! -----------
Crank Case Slip 1.59 Radiator Green 1.69 Transmission Grind 1.79
Blended with Road A Blend of Prestone The finest ground fan
Oil and squirrel, and Zerex with a dash belt rubber, a dash of
Poured over Ice of Scorpion Venom squished turtle juice,
or straight up! over crushed ice. blended with the finniest
tranie fluid. This comes
straight up.
The Bucket Delight 3.95 Green Spin for the Kids .69
We Prairie everything that Only the best fogs in the blender
is left over from the night will do here! Mixed with a few
before, with just a touch road Toads to give it that great
of gravel mixed in! poured taste! Served over ice, 18oz. class.
over a 1 gallon bucket of
ice. You finnish this and
it is on the house!
Note: All ingredients are sucked right up from your favorite Highway to you!
You Bar Tender is Blind Bob
------------------------ Cowboy Menu ---------------------
"Cowboy cooking It ain't bad looking"
Deerly Departed Off - Road Delights
No-Luck Buck 4.95 High Speed Special 2.95
Just can't duck a truck. What's that, a cat?!
Big Bagged Stag 5.95 Bad-Brake Steaks 1.95
Don't gag on your stag. Some possum, some snakes.
Too-slow Doe 4.95 One-Eyed Dog 3.25
Had one lane to go. Hit in the fog - Found on a log.
Long Gone Fawn 3.50 Off the Roof Hoof 1.85
Found dead on your lawn. Tried jumping but goofed.
No Fear Deer 6.75 Gunk of Skunk 4.25
Just had a bad year. Sun-ripened and shrunk.
Roadside Remnants .15 Varmint Vittles 1.95
Deathers and leathers - Guts galore, you'll want more.
Stand back in hot weather.
It's A Kitty 2.70
Rodeo Rejects What a pity -- looks real bad
and kind a sh..er, um...flat.
Buckaroo Quarter Horse Highway Hash 1.25
with fried Onions, Starts with a crash.
of Course 3.55
Caddie "Grilled" Patty 1.50
7 - Course Swayback Horse 6.95 Some poor little critter just
1 big steamin' plate went kersplatty.
with a 6 pack.
Beer - Basted Steer Summer time Treats
Hit from the rear 3.60 It's Some Kinda Meat.
Horse Hocks - Sidewinder Stew -
the Other Red Meat 4.95 bronco buster
then dusted with musted 4.55
Weakly Special Last - Year's Steer -
it tastes a mite queer,
dried in the hide,
Mangled Mule Cruel 2.80 not boiled or fried 3.80
You'll drool like a fool.
Meal - In - A - Bag
Don't gag on yer nag....
Our cookin's so good, we
just had to bag!
2.75
RoadKill Basic Recipe
Rules of The RoadKill
1. Freshness is always the rule
(if it's still there on your way home, it's too late).
2. Semi-squashed is much better than squashed; anything
clobbered by an 18-wheeler is absolutely undesirable.
3. Blacktop surfaces are much preferred over dirt
roads; concrete is a gourmet's delight.
4. Remember the early bird catches the....ah, worm!
Road Chicken
Saute RoadKill until tender. Add onion,
cook until onion is translucent. Add the rest
of the seasonings, mix well and add beer
and bullion cubes. Cook 10 - 12 minutes
on medium heat.
Tips for fresh road kill
The key is you need to carry with you a
piece of chalk. When you are on your way
into town you stop at any road kill on
the road and put a chalk circle around it.
On the way home any road kill that you
see without a chalk circle is fresh and
good to go.
Thanks!
Norm, from Lubbock, TX
Dom's Saturday Night Main Course:
Seagull Fricassee with in-beak fries
Full platter with pickled eyes on the side,
made complete with half-hatched omelette,
fried legs and wings in creamy bechamel, $4.30.
A seaside fantasy turned reality.
Thanks!
Dominik
Cockatoo Stew
Equipment needed:
A large billy (a large saucepan will do)
Ingredients:
o Water (couple of litres/quarts)
o One medium to large cockatoo
o One large boot
o Salt and pepper to taste
Method
Place the water, boot and cockatoo into the billy and bring to boil.
Simmer for 10 to 12 hours.
When the Boot is soft, throw the cockatoo away
Eat the boot.
Serves 2
Thanks Toni for Serving This Great Dish!
Titillating Trifecta:
Steamy blend of your choice of either coyote, dog, deer,
with any two of either crows or vultures. Steamed and
sauteed to your taste with original organic goo and
garnished with original on-site maggots.
Side order of blowflies is complimentary
Thanks Gerry for Serving This Great Dish!
Duo Delight.
A rare delicacy that features both predator and prey,
clobbered at the same instant.
Sauteed with organic, natural original goo, and garnished
with original maggots from on-site.
Check with waiter for availability.
Price only on request at time of availabilit
Thanks Gerry for Serving This Great Dish!
Louisiana Favorites
Radiator Gator
Fresh alligator steak, tenderized and steamed to perfection. 89 Cents
and
Armadillo Rolls
"Seasoned" armadillo remnant cuts, rolled in Interstate 10 road salt,
and marinated in the Best Atchafalaya Basin swamp water for that spicy pickled taste. $1.23
Courtesy of,
Deacon Blues
Crackled Grackle
Grackles are crow like birds in central Texas.
I have "crackled" a grackle or two on Austin roads.
Courtesy of,
John
Dead Donkey stew made just for you,
at 3.20 a bowl, might make your stomach roll.
CATering services. Flat Cat with special house mouse sauce.
Carrion services. Lab on a slab flambe accompanied by squash (of bug).
Rest Area special: Blizzard of buzzard.
The Catering service and Carrion service are provided by:
Cathy W.
Our breakfast Plate.
Flap Jack Rabbits - All you can eat - $2.87
Thanks Emily for Serving This Dish!
Jammie's Side Dish Delight! $0.39
Mashed Mouse, Creamed or Chunk.
Thanks Jammie for Serving This Dish!
Viv's Australian Delight! $1.38
Good on a very HOT Night!
Blue Roo (with our gravel) followed by Choc Croc
that has been aged in a stagnant billabong
For those that don't understand!
Kangaroo cooked on the hot Road Way Down Under!
Great Dinner Special, Thanks Viv!
More Australian Recipes
Try our new recipes, Steve's favourites!
Cajun koala, stewed in eucalypt oil and with a fresh taste of dunlops
and gravel. Goanna goulash, are they flies or raisins?
Dingo dessert, the ayers rock special, pete
A must try! Thanks Peter D. !
RoadKill Cafe's Special of The Day! $1.69
Monday: --- The Monday Mixer:
Everything scraped up from the weekend.
Tuesday: --- Poodles and Noodles:
Served with road toad ala mode.
Wednesday: --- Flat Cat Cakes:
Served single or stacked.
Thursday: -- Pit Bull Pot Pie:
Served with peas and carrots.
Friday: -- Dead Deer Delight:
Served with gravel and hood ornaments.
Saturday: -- Cheep Sheep Night:
Served with raccoon or possum pie.
Sunday: --- Our Buffet Served Right along the Road:
Features the very best from our highways.
Thanks for the Specials Sandy!
Great Dinner Special, Thanks Lisa!
WE Have a few Canadian Specialties which might interest you!
Prairie Dog Pate with Recycled Raven Sauce. $1.29
Elk Flambe. $1.02 (Note: Flambe is created by a semi on the Trans-Canada Highway.)
Earthworm Shortcake. $.15
Great Danishes are another "DOG" treat. $.75
We have removed Hitchhiker Burgers, because of the Canadian Human Rights
Commission, Please don't ask for this item!
Thanks to Patricia, for this JUICY Canadian Special!
Roger's Thursday Night Special!
Narrow Sparrows are only $0.55, or 10 for $4.00.
Paul's Desert!
Snake Bake Cake with lemon Venom Icing....A real Upscale Treat! $1.70
Web Page Comments To:
Poster 24"x36"
Copyright © 1994 - 2012 RJO LTD. All rights reserved.
This site is best viewed in 800 x 600 monitor resolution.
Best Viewed with Microsoft IE Explorer 5.0 or better.
